Memoir of Me & friends

School Friends and Lot 10 friends

Saya memang memilih dalam berkawan, tapi saya memang ramai kawan, tapi uols kena berhati hati dalam berkawan, banyak yang tak boleh pakai, zaman kita senang banyak menempek, masa susah hilang la pulak! Banyak superfial and poker face! so becareful k, remember your pride, jangan kacau hidup orang, jangan banyak bergossip pasal orang, jauhkan mengumpat, just enjoy your friends, jangan tunjuk kelemahan, friendship nie sebenarnya indah, seindah cinta, jangan kita pentingkan cinta dari persahabatan, love comes and go ,but true friendship stays forever until you die...so jangan kerana cinta lupa kawan, kalau kita ada masaaalah kita jarang cerita dengan parents kita sendiri, semuanya dengan kawan, Alhamdulillah saya dikurniakan kawan yang ambil berat tentang each other...susah senang...I love you all, pada yang tak guna tu, tak payah lah datang lagi dalam hidup aku, k...macam semak jer!

Saya jugak bukan jenis berpuak, macam sesetengah gang tu tak boleh mix dengan gang nie, gang tu, saya suka campur semua orang, no puak puak, asalkan hati saya happy...so thats why saya ramai kawan dari group group yang berbeza...

School was a little tough for me because i have to wear boys uniform,  but that's all, the rest were ok, my friends were great...I'm very reserved don't like to be so hoo haa in school but outta school I go wild! A complete different person...I guess i never like rules, I live my life with as little rules as possible, if people asked me what do i like? or what do u do? I simply answer "what i like" but its important to have guidelines so that you won't go overboard, so that people cannot step on you, there must be certain limits that you or people can't just cross...but rules on the other hand are boring...I love to be able to enjoy things, so whatever i do is more out of passion...I need to passionate in what i do, in my work, in my food, whatever...If in Malaysia we can wear whatever we want in school like in the U.S, I think i would love school...

I don't like how i look in school, I was fat, tall, big and very bad skin, dark and dull with my short afro hair, So I have few very good friends but only some left until today, Jo is a very sporty bubbly non judgmental person that i feel sooo comfortable to be friends with, Shida is the girl who is always likes to laugh, she likes to see the funny side of life, also very emotional, Shida dan saya dah hadapi macam macam and kami experiment macam macam, kami gi clubbing masa umur 16 tahun, tengok macam macam orang, hangout masa zaman Lot 10, Shida suka buat dialog, contohnya kita lepak kat satu tempat around Lot 10, then nampak couple tengah duduk sembang or tengok pasangan bermanja or bergaduh kami pun buat dialog then gelak gelak...biasa lah budak budak! Memang sangat happening zaman Lot 10, zaman 90-an! the best, zaman grunge, zaman maknyah, zaman EVERYTHING macam saya pernah cerita pada chapter chapter yang lepas lepas, Shida pernah bercinta dengan kawan kami and dia simpan cinta dia sampai sekarang walaupun dia dah berkahwin, sometimes saya rasa ada kekosongan dalam hati dia, cuma saya berdoa dia bahagia, now dah ada baby girl and hope ada baby boy soon...Shida dan Syed adalah dua kawan yang bagi impact yang besar dalam hidup saya, Syed yang dulunya lelaki now dah jadi Maknyah, saya memang dapat nampak syed seorang "lembut" walaupun se"macho" mana dia cuba sembunyikan...tapi mereka berdua inilah yang mengisi kekosongan hati saya masa sekolah dulu, betul betul rapat, Syed akan tidur rumah saya sebanyak mana dia boleh...kami pun ber experiment pakai make up, berangan jadi model, badan Syed memang cantik, slim and dia keturunan syed so hidung mancung, bulu mata lentik so now dia dah jadi perempuan pun cantik...cuma dia pilih jalan salah, bukan sebab dia jadi maknyah, sebab dia berenti sekolah masa form 5 sebab ikutkan kawan, dia pun mula menjauhkan diri dari saya dan Shida, dia kelas pandai and memang bijak, dia tak ambik pun SPM, sayyangggg sangat! Rugi! walau apa pun ambil la SPM dulu then terpulanglah lah nak jadi apa pun...lately saya jumpa dia kesian tengok dia...saya doakan dia berjaya juga satu hari nanti,

Lagi sorang kawan saya yang menyerikan zaman remaja kami is Joe Azli, haaa mula mula nak jadi player, lepas tu tak jadi! haha kantoi, dia pernah ber couple dengan Shida kejap, bagi nama joe, tapi kami tak tahu nama sebenar dia lepas bertahun jugak lah kenal dia! hahaha memang licik lah jugak dia nie! Nama ada macam macam, sampai ada orang panggil dia Nyamuk! dia nie curious in life, dia pun suka experiment, saya gi Blue Boy pun nak ikut jugak! hehe...Tapi dia nie memang baik, so tak jadi nak jadi "player" akhirnya menjadi kawan kami yang rapat! Saya tak tahu mana dia sekarang, rindu sangat kat dia, saya kenal ex boyfriend saya yang skinhead tu melalui dia ler...

Kawan kawan fashionista saya masa sekolah is zaman saya dengan Srizana and cousin dia Nini, Zana nie tinggi slim and Nini ni kecik and sangat cute, diorang pandai fashion, yer la body pun lawa, so senang la nak melawa, even though saya lebih faham pasal fashion tapi saya gemuk masa tu so nak dressing pun tak boleh...now dah boleh la...Zana and kakak dia pun ada cerita drama! aduih kalau ingatkan sangat kelakar, bila di ingat ingatkan seronok juga zaman remaja saya, asalkan out of school! bosan! but saya berjaya jugak dalam SPM, in my life Alhamdulillah belum pernah gagal dalam peperiksaan yang besar besar...walaupun  parents saya dulu dulu suka anggap saya akan gagal! tension tau, dah la tak dapat kasih sayang dari family, ingat lagi massa nak ambik PMR, parents saya kononnya nak guna "reverse psychology" diorang cakap "so u akan gagal, nak masuk sekolah private mana lepas nie?" aduih diorang tak tahu sedih saya masa tue, sampai hati diorang!...tapi Alhamdulillah they are the best parents now selepas tragedy Ustaz A!

The Sarawakian and other Glamour Girls of the 90's

Selain kawan kawan sekolah and kawan kawan Lot 10, saya ada kawan kawan yang dari Sarawak, all the gorgeous girls in Sarawak, they are fun and fine to be with and i'm still very close with one of my so called "pet sister" kak nana, a very beautiful girl who loves to be in a beautiful mess, sensitive and very generous, I met a lot of Sarawakian friends from her, I call them Sarawakian girls of the 90's, zaman diorang hangout my house zaman I form 4, seronok giler! Weall semua suka head banging over "zombie" by The Cranberries, humming to Lisa Loeb song "stay", hangin out at abah's old KL apartment, masa tu my dad duduk Sarawak coz business dia kat sana...and married to my stepmother who is a Sarawakian...hangin out at Radhi's place...twas great times!

Me with lovely Kak Nana at Italiannes

Outside (from school)Friends

Owh the outside friends are sooo irritating, banyak juga kawan kawan luar sekolah and after dah habis form five, ada budak yang biasa biasa jer, tapi ada rupa sikit, so dapat perhatian lelaki yang suka clubbing so diorang diberi perhatian sikit dah berangan! Cakap English pun berterabur, Yer la lelaki cheapskate kat club tak dapat well brought up educated girls coz they tak layan so diorang go and get this stupid girls la, the reason I kawan ngan diorang? sebab they were nice to me masa tu, but later in life! weekkk! geli nak makan kat gerai la, kotor la, minum teh tarik guna straw la!!! sebab geli pakai cawan orang! cemana nak nikmati teh tarik if minum pakai straw uols??? sukati kau lah verangan jer lebih! pekerjaan diorang? gundik! pompuan simpanan! pinjam duit aku tak bayar dah 6 tahun! backstabbers! uneducated narrow minded bitch! 

College Friends

 UUURRGGHHHHH college kids! A lot of people's mentality is that once they're in college, they try to immitate from the movies, banyak yang perasan hot! Masa i dah hot i tak pulak perasan hot, orang jer bagitau...nowadays when i think of it it just make wanna laugh till i puke, the amount of superficial! FAKE! tryin-to-be-cool/impressing people! Wannabe's! Posers! Suddenly speaks in a "slang" even though you are a pure Malaysians, I called it MTV slang! Sometimes i speak in English slang so that its different than others who "suddenly" speaks American, I do it just to annoy them, maybe they suddenly transform to American once they step college ground, but once they step home, cari sambal belacan, nasi, makan dengan ikan kembung goreng! Poker face! Just be yourself laaa no need la be someone you're not, why why why must have all the slang, the girls jadi gewdiks! tetiba nama Samdol tukar jadi Paris! I cuma suka make up jer during mula mula college, and terlalu baik, now no more Miss nice goody goody!

I teringat satu iklan Petronas during Deepavali, they are few guys were speaking like a rapper trying ti impress the girls they had crush on...so they go like "lets party man yeah lets party its party time!" infront of the girls and introduced their "glamour names", they one of the guys spotted their granny who they called "pahti" as in "grandmother" who just came home from Bangsar pasar malam...so one of the guys bagi amaran kat kawan kawan lain, dia cakap "pahti" "pahti" yang lain ingat dia cakap "party" "party", lepastu nenek budak tu akhirnya panggil bebudak tu cakap dalam bahasa tamil, tanya siapa nama kawan cucu dia, kawan dia cakap nama dia "Sam" pastu nenek tu cakap apa sam sam? apa nama betul? dia jawab Muthusamy! hehe iklan yang paling kelakar menunjukkan walaupun dunia berubah tapi kita harus berbangga dengan siapa kita sebenarnya...tengok iklan tu kat youtube kat sini http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z32Wp3o-EdI

Ok, I went to 3 colleges in my life, First was Stamford, owh my God twas miserable! My mom selalu hantar kat college and after dia dah drive jauh sikit, I terus pergi Mall berdekatan! Masa tu banyak duit so shopping!,Then after a guy asking for a lighter during ciggarate break by saying " DUDE, u got any lighter?" esoknya I terus tak datang dah! Dude dia panggil aku! masa tu benci but now ok jer, just play along...

Then I went to Sunway College where i meet, Liza Hanim, Nahiz, Farah Bulat, Azie and all, the environment in Sunway College is soooo much better than Stamford, people are more real, but BOSAN!!! dull...still ada plastic jugak, guys and girls, I still remember ada this guy walking down the cafeteria walking like Code 10 advertisement! I took business studies again coz i thought that's all I ever going to be in...like my parents, how naive i was, I didn't explore the world of studies enough...theres many many many things to study out there, dah la i hate numbers, nak jugak ambik business studies? NOT! The friends i met here are better...masih gemok lagi masa nie, saya dalam gambar dibawah pakai baju pink yang paling nembam sekali! hehe..Liza memang gorgeous masa nie, slim and tall...

My beautiful memory with Sunway College friends

The third College I went is Limkokwing University of creative technology...the BEST so far i've experiance, people are more real walaupun rich and gorgeous people, from what i see and experiance, orang yang betul betul kaya, educated, gorgeous are very humble people, tak perlu berlagak...I took Mass Communication here, Advertising, multimedia and broadcasting majored in Advertising...Here is where I met my angels, my best friends...from the friends i met in limkokwing i met few others kawan kawan diorang from other Universities like HELP and others who are macam diorang jugak, very well brought up, a little spoiled, gorgeous, down to earth, very caring and we get along very well up until today...I really really bersyukur that i met them! Hope we will remain forever...together...they accept me for who I am and that's the most important thing in friendship, my ups and downs, my depression, my scars, my fatness, my skinniness everything...Alhamdulillah...and if u go to Limkokwing u tak payah pergi mana dah, sebab kat Limkokwing dah macam the whole world is there, people from around the world...when u're there you don't feel like in Malaysia, this is good because you get to know other people's culture, behaviour and learn a lot from them...how enthusiastic they are, how bright and intelligent people in Limkokwing...I miss the debate in journalism class...the Presentation skills class...

Main UNO and SNAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!! masa nie nak pekak telinga! hahahaha! nak menang punya pasal! SSENAAPPPP!!!

Macam macam pengalaman manis masa kat Limkokwing, meet a lot of creative people, macam macam dressings, ada yang creative, ada yang fashion victim, ada yang over the top, but banyak yang dressing cantik cantik, Limkokwing people are very fashion forward, very down to earth, yes ofcoz ada yang snob but not much...tapi few benda yanng lucu in that I masuk Limkokwing masa dia masih kat Taman Mayang  Kelana Jaya, sebelum mereka pindah di CyberJaya, sebelum pindah semua bising tak sabar sabar nak pindah ke CyberJaya, ada satu masa tu tak jadi, was diap conteng dinding dekat carpark tak puas hati, memang la ramai dah tak tahan panggil University kami as University shopping Mall sebab asalnya kat Taman Mayang was a shopping center, TAPI bila dah pindah ke CyberJaya pulak, ramai bising jauh lah, takder transportation lah, banyak lalat lah...aderrrrrr jeeerrrrrr, adat lah manusia, sering tak puas hati , ada jer kekurangan , thats why kita sebagai manusia tak mampu nak senangkan hati semua orang, ada yang agree dengan kita, ada yang tak...so kita tak payah nak perfect sangat sebab tidak ada sorang pun yang perfect kat dunia nie...

My friends dari zaman college sampai sekarang, ada yang dah kahwin and ada baby, bestnyer!

My angels at Angel Nisha's Akad nikah and New Year's eve 2011

Nisha dah preggy and i pun dah tembam! aaarrgghhhh!@Nisha's baby shower!

During in Limkokwing, I am already matured, learnt from previous broken friendship before I started in Limkokwing, I learn about true friendship, I learn that how important friendship is, cinta, lelaki kadangkala datang dan pergi but persahabatan yang ikhlas dan benar adalah buat selamanya...I learn that jangan sesekali gossip, tikam belakang, mengutuk kawan sendiri, nak buat apa semua tu, kawan kawan saling mengambil berat and sayang menyayangi...Alhamdulillah saya tak pernah tikam belakang kawan...bayangkan je kalau kita kena tikam, sakitnya lebih teruk dari kena tikam...

Birthday lil Rita!

Intan, Me and JJ (Mr. J is the thorn among the roses)

My Special "Gender" and Gay Friends

La Queen is a happening and fun place to be, lots of artist here and also majority Gay clubbers...

Transexuals, Maknyah

Sebenarnya saya tak ramai kawan maknyah, dari zaman sekolah sampai zaman limkokwing adalah dalam 3 orang macam tue...saya nak cakap bahasa maknyah pun tak pandai...macam "mak, nok, " semua tu, sampailah lepas peristiwa dengan Ustaz A, saya dirawat, and doctor doctor yang menolong saya seperti Datuk Dr Halim, suggest that I bercampur dengan maknyah and see how, masa tu ramai kawan kawan college dah gi oversea...so a few maknyah dikawasan rumah saya di sunway, ada kak Amy, ada Becca, ada Jepun so saya baru tahu kewujudan mereka setelah 10 tahun duduk Sunway and baru tahu yang Sunway adalah memang "tempat" mereka, mungkin selama ni my life was so busy with assignment, so diorang cakap diorang ada perasan saya tapi anggap saya nie sombong...takkanlah kerana saya nie gender istimewa kena tegur semua maknyah dalam dunia nie, kalau kita perempuan kena ke tegur semua perempuan? Sesetengah pendapat Maknnyah yang maknyah mesti tegur menegur...I mean if u're not my friend and i don't know you, perlu ke? But I am very friendly, so I start lepak salon kak Amy memang nak buat rambut, so dari situ saya kenal ramai jugak, MEMANG CUN CUN! seronok nya kawan ngan maknyah nie! so banyak juga lah saya belajar dari mereka...

Maknyah sekarang bukan macam Maknyah dulu dulu! Dulu banyak yang lemah pada lelaki, tapi tak semua, yang lawa lawa dulu dulu banyak dah kat oversea dengan lover diorang, aunty saya duduk Holland dulu so semua kawan kawan Malaysian dia adalah maknyah yang dah berpindah ke Holland, ada yang happily married or stay together with their lover...lelaki nie suka ambil kesempatan pada maknyah maknyah yang lemah, seperti minta duit, sex...dan sebagainya...TAPI NOT NOW, sekarang maknyah banyak yang very educated, sekarang bercinta dengan maknyah dahbiasa bukan luar biasa lagi, cinta benar benar cinta, ada saya kenal athlete, artist, or kawan kawan sekeliling and family saya bercinta dengan maknyah...sekarang nie lelaki beristeri banyak simpan maknyah, and masa bulan puasa lepas saya buka puasa di sebuah hotel, nampak satu group maknyah yang lawa lawa dengan sekumpulan lelaki yang kaya dan hebat hebat, saya amat kagumi mereka...berani! takder sorok sorok...Maknyah sekarang bukan "gila jantan" macam dulu, barulah sekepala, seronok saya berkawan dengan gang gang Pink Triangle and Mynetra...banyak boleh belajar dari mereka and tak kedekut ilmu...semua saling bantu membantu pada yang menghadapi masaalah...thats the spirit keep it up...! 

One of my adik angkat yang comel,very kind, loving and generous...Lucas

one of the most Unique best friends i ever have, he loves fine art, exotic antiques loves may kinds of music, always suka cabar saya dalam nyanyian to hit the highest notes...saya boleh buat yer! hehe I can sing a high note songs  like Celine Dion, Whitney Christina...etc etc...sometimes blur ut always comel...suka kucing...over all he is very unique...unique spesis yer kau ni lucas lucas! noty sangat kakak babab kang!

Lovely dinner on Lucas's birthday

At frangipany KL,where there's mixed crowd straight and gay from all over the world

Gay Friends

Saya dikenali sebagai "kakak" dikalangan kawan kawan gay walaupun diorang lagu tua...

I started to have gay friends during my last semester in Limkokwing, yeap before this I don't even have gay friends...I do but not as close as after my last semester in limkokwing...It was when I was approached by my first adik angkat, in the class, I didn't know he's gay, tiba tiba masa presentation skill class he opened up to everybody that he's gay, dah la comel nak ngorat dah masa tue...tetiba masa dia cakap dia gay terus hancur luluh rancangan ku hehe...

Masa tu ngam kawan kawan baik semua dah gi oversea tak reti reti nak balik...then I start kawan ngan gay friends, it was one of the most fun period of my life, seronok gi gay club nie, tak banyak lelaki posers and gatal...i think one of the reason girls pergi gay club adalah sebab yang sama, taknak diganggu lelaki gatal, pakailah sexy cemana pun, menarilah goyang inul cemana gerudi sekali pun, taakder yang ambil kesempatan, thats the fun part...then after few of my best friends balik KL, I introduce diorang kat my gay friends...rupanya diorang kat oversea pun sama juga kawan dengan banyak gay friend in Australia and U.K,,,

Gila gila backstage main dengan wings macam Victoria's Secret hehe...

Gay guys are very creative and usually really good at what they're doing, contohnya jarang tengok rumah diorang bersepah, and walaupun duduk rumah biasa biasa jer, most of them definitely knows how to niaskan rumah and make the best out of it! 

Guys knows what guys wants and needs/ girls knows what girls wants and needs/ Transgirls knows EVERYTHING

I guess thats why adanya lesbians, gay and maknyah, and kenapa pasangan diorang tak boleh lupakan diorang especially pasangan yang baru first time have sex or couple dengan diorang, coz diorang tahu apa pasangan diorang nak coz they're more or less have the same thing, kalau bad mood or periods, PMS, or kat mana part yang sensitive they know best...Maknyah pulak tahu semuanya, coz I am all women with a touch of a man inside of me...thats the best part being a khunsa...

Me in "Trans" dressing, baju bodyfit girlish but bertengkolok...

Saya harap dari pengalaman saya, pembaca pambaca diluar sana dapat iktibar and tahu cemana nak cari kawan yang betul betul "kawan", kalau dia nak ambil kesempatan pada kita dia bukan kawan, kalau dia tikam belakang kita no no nope! bukan kawan, kalau dia rampas apa jua kepunyaan kita dia bukan kawan! kalau dia jeeer nak perhatian orang dia bukan kawan...kalau dia kaki buli.. slash nama dia dari hati kia...so sama dengan kita, kalau kita dah jumpa kawan benar benar kawan, kita hargailah dia betul betul, YES bukan senang nak cari kawan, SUSAH! ada depan kita puji macam macam, belakang kita habis dikutuknyer...ada yang nak dia lebih, kalau kita lebih sikit or dapat perhatian lebih sikit jer dia taknak kawan kita dah...macam macam jenis manusia dalam dunia nie and saya harap uols pembaca saya or kawan kawan saya bukanlah dari golongan yang busuk hati dan keji itewww yer...pada adik adik yang kena teruk dengan kawan boleh cerita and share, if nak hubunngi saya silakan...I hope I helped and can help some of uols...

Well Alhamdulillah I have many many friends...with different specialties, Uniqueness who accept me for who I am now, tak macam dulu duu banyak "plastic"! now I tau siapa boleh buat kawan siapa boleh buat apa yang boleh dibuat, dan siapa untuk buang dari diary memoir ku...Masa banyak mengajar kita erti sebuah persahabatan and kita boleh baca macam macam perangai manusia...berhati hati dalam berkawan, ada banyak kawan yang suka makan kawan diluar sana, banyak cerita sedih saya dengar, kawan rampas kekasih kawan baik sendiri...uuiisshhh minta dijauhkan...manusia jenis apa tu? ada certain times dah jodoh, tapi selalunya bersebab, bukan sengaja main rampas, mungkin perhugungan kawan tadi dah tak sehaluan, tapi pada yang rampas sesuka hati walhal mereka sedang hangat bercinta memang dasar manusia bangang! doink! Kawan kawan yang suka mengambil kesempatan, seperti chapter diatas kawan kawan saya yang "plastic" zaman lepas sekolah and kawan luar sekolah!

Pada kawan kawan ku, Rita, Ira, Nisha, Alia,Yoyo, Intan, Hetty, JJ shah, Lucas, Kak Nana, and ramaiii lagi, I love yu all from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my friend...terima saya seadanya, waktu senang and susahku, kurus gemok kurus gemok ku...yang pasti akan datang KURUS balik! hehe, terima kasih for being part of my life...Assalammualaikum I love you all! and pada pembaca, I hope from here you learn how to read your friends...harap uols pandai menilai erti sebuah persahabatan, kawan tak mengenal erti rupa dan harta benda, tak memandang bangsa dan agama, kawan yang benat kawan takkan tikam belakang! takkan mengutuk belakang! sebaliknya memberi sokongan dalam apa jua yang membuat kita bahagia...sesiapa yang ada kawan yang sekadar nak gunakan kita, campak jer dalam tong sampah!